Sub or BDSM slave? The difference

If you are submissive, then you are not automatically both, sub and slave. The difference lies in the degree of submission and the rights of the submissive to participate in BDSM. How this looks like in practice, you will find out in this BDSM guide.

Rights of participation

Simply put, a sub is a submissive person who enjoys being at the mercy of others, but wants to have a say in what happens during play. This means that control is mostly handed over to the top, although the sub can also influence the game. A sub can also give suggestions to the dominant part, what they would like to do together, or how a punishment should be applied. So the sub often has the choice and may also express what he wants / does not want.

A slave on the other hand gives his rights completely to the master, he is property of him. The master has the power to decide, what is done, when, and with what intensity. There is no veto right as long as everything is done within the taboo list.

Whether he is a slave or sub: He wants to be used.

Punishments

A sub can be punished for his misbehavior. This can be done by sexually stimulating pain (e.g. with nipple clamps) or by other practices that make the sub horny. A slave, on the other hand, can be punished for no reason. The subtle difference here is the psychological component. While in the constellation as a sub the submissive can influence the game indirectly through obedience, the slave does not have these possibilities.

Abstinence

The similarities between the BDSM sub and slave are obedience and the inclusion of various disciplinary procedures. An often practiced game is orgasm withdrawal. The submissive is forbidden to cum for a certain period, according to the motto:

Only a horny sub is a good sub.

Thus, orgasm is also prohibited outside of BDSM sessions through chastity. A chastity belt ensures that the submissive cannot satisfy himself. As a result, a sub is trained to perform his or her tasks particularly well during a session, with the aim that the sub may cum if he performs well. Whether he is allowed to do is decided by the top/master. As a rule, neither the sub nor the slave is allowed to decide whether he or she will be cum. The slave is not rewarded for his behavior, not even by permission to cum.

Sexual desires

While a friendship-like relationship usually arises with the sub when playing, the game with the slave is rougher, because the purpose of the slave is about using him. The sexual desires him play no role. His task is to fully serve and satisfy his master. This can also include withstanding pleasure-pain (ballbusting, whipping, etc.) to amuse the master. In the constellation as a sub, the top also responds to the sexual desires of the submissive. BDSM practices are applied, which also make the sub horny.

Levels of a Sub

In the BDSM scene, different levels for slave types have been established. The strongest degree of submission is found in a 24/7 slave. A slave subordinates his whole life to the wishes of the master, at any time, every day.

No matter if Sub or Slave: He always subordinates itself to its Master.

TPE: Total Power Exchange is a total transfer of rights to the master. The control goes beyond all areas of life, it is determined how and with whom the social life is possible and also the financial situation is controlled by the master, even up to the transfer of assets. If a slave can no longer end this relationship himself, it is called a CIS (complete irrevocable submission) relationship. This is the permanent, irrevocable form of the Total Power Exchange.

EPE: Erotic Power Exchange is the sexual power differential in BDSM, which is usually found in both master-slave and top-sub relationships. In contrast to TPE, the power differential is limited to sexual practices. In the case of the sub, this difference is usually defined over a certain period (e.g. during a BDSM session). In the case of a slave, the power differential extends beyond the session.

Further slaves are classified according to the type of "use", whereby a slave can have several forms.

Often the submissive partner is "marked" not only during a session but also in everyday life, allowing him to express his humility. A classic sign is a collar, which is worn like a normal accessory. Depending on how "openly" you deal with your inclinations, it can also be worn in public, visibly, or covered.

Practical instruments for this purpose are also lockable fetters, which a slave can wear under his clothes even in everyday life. During a session, a slave rather wears a breast harness (or whatever the master wants him to wear).

Are you a sub or slave?

Anyone who thinks a sub or slave
is the same in BDSM, he is wrong.

If you are submissive yourself, you can decide whether you would rather be a sub or a BDSM slave. Manners are very different. Of course, a Sub does not have to remain a Sub but can be trained step by step to become a slave. This works when the sub becomes more obedient and submissive and wants to hand over more and more rights to the master. The attraction of increasingly handing over control makes a BSDM relationship more and more exciting.

Ultimately, the submissive part must decide for itself whether he merely has the fantasy of being a slave or whether he wants to play it out. The important thing is to admit your role to yourself and that you are looking for the right master. If you are unsure, start as a sub and you will see if you want to give up more control. Neither a sexually submissive nor a dominant attitude is pathological but belongs to your personality. If you play out your fantasies while respecting taboos, you will see how much it enriches your life. Many are as filthy as you are.